Regarding Food Stealers.

If you didn’t already know, I have a lot of fat-kid tendencies. I like my food and I don’t like other people eating my food. Especially when they squirrel it away or blatantly steal it from my side of the fridge or pantry. Like the dirty food thief from my flat at UEA who ate HALF of my one pound block of cheese and my bread and my pesto. I hope you failed your exams.

I also usually take my dear sweet time preparing my food–carefully layering my sandwiches, rearranging toppings, picking out bits and pieces, arranging different sections so the appropriate foods do and do not touch, and setting aside the best slice, piece, portion aside for last. OCD-ish I know.

And this note I found today on combined both of these traits and made me laugh out loud at work. Which is awkward when you and your boss are the only ones in the office and you are supposed to be diligently working on some spreadsheet or another.

regarding my mustard

I especially like the seriousness which this mustard stealing offense has been given especially the firm yet frank phrasing, calculated emailing and cc’ing of likely suspects and the consideration of “current rates of consumption” sent out immediately after discovering the missing mustard. Evidenced by the ungodly hour of the time-stamp.

It’s a good thing Clarissa and Julie are good sharers. Lord knows what would happen otherwise.


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